I can still poem
I can still write
I can still poem
I can still write
So as the title says, I have a cold. In the grand scheme of issues it’s pretty minor but still, it’s miserable. I’m rarely sick but when I am it tends to linger. I’m forced to put on a brave face cos I took the piss (Northern Ireland ism for made fun of) my boyfriend for his recent bout of man flu drama. He’s been on most of the mornings as his shifts have allowed this and believe me, I’m very grateful. It’s also my first mum cold and I’m trying so hard not to pass it to my baby. I know he’ll get it eventually but I really don’t want it to be from me!!
Tonight I’m having a beer. I will probably suffer in the morning but for now it’s cool to feel human or as human as I can feel (but that’s how I rock!) ……. Tomorrow will be powered by a small lie in and much caffine. I will get through this, not that I’m being dramatic or anything ……… 🙂
Peace and Love
“Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light.” (Unknown – according to my source!)
I have a bit of a thing for quotes. I think Facebook may have been the instigator but who knows?
I’ve started with this one because it struck a chord at a time when i needed it. In my reasonably distant past I enjoyed a smoke of the stuff requiring a roach. I purchased a random pack in one of my favourite hippy assed shops which just happened to have quotes and this was the first one in the book. I was in the throes of my very first incidence of my mental quirkiness and it gave me a flash of clarity. It made me appreciate who I am at a time I needed in most. It’s been a constant on my social media favourite quotes since that day!!
This insignificant quote has crossed my mind when my best romantic relationship and friendships have been established. The universe works in mysterious ways and this random instance has shaped my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Peace and love x
At this stage it’s getting intimidating when I look at it. It’s like getting too big a portion at a restaurant and you don’t know where to start – in my case I don’t even start. It’s been building for weeks – nah, probably months!!
I will fully admit I’m a kinda lazy procrastinating sorta girl and I wish I wasn’t. When I’m welded to the couch watching the latest drama unfold on Law and Order, NCIS or CSI (yep, I love crime shows and will watch any incarnation of the aforementioned series’), I feel like I’ve earned it!! So I write stuff down on the list of doom, things that would take less than a minute to do but no, I write it on a freaking list. I’ve been putting my earring in for so long the hole’s probably closed up!
When I’m entertaining baby Arlo I have a good excuse but he’s such a chilled wee man that I do have time to do most things when I think of them and probably score off a few of the things that take a bit longer.
A this stage it’s really bugging me so what do I do? So this is my plan – I do the small things when I think of them and tackle one bigger item from ‘the list’ per day. Any more will be a bonus but I’ll be chilled with one. Starting tomorrow of course …….
Peace and love
It’s been a while!! My lively daytime Arlo is not loving the naps at the minute. I love it because he gets to see the world around him and he’s made so may friends in my coffee shop haunts. I really need to organise my time better – I’ve missed my wee blog posts!
My time off has made me realise one major thing – I don’t want to go back to my previous job when my maternity leave ends. I know I’m swerving into mummy blog territory here but it’s bound to happen the odd time! I work in a bank but I’m not very ‘banky’. I’ve been there 20 years come December so it’s really all I know. I’ve been in a back office centre for the last 14 years and in all honesty, as far as jobs go, it’s not that bad. I’ve always felt bad about working for a massive financial company but bills. Our office is very busy but pretty laid back. It gets too much sometimes though. We’re micro managed to within an inch of our lives – a system which doesn’t meld with the nature of the job but it won’t ever change. The thing is, I could probably keep on dealing with this and maybe drop a day cos they’re pretty good about stuff like that. My main problem is the commute. Even if I drive I need to leave at 7am and I won’t get home until at least 5.30pm. It seems cruel to wake baby Arlo at 6am and see him for an hour max when I get home. And what about his dentists and doctors appointments? I don’t want to miss the first crawl or the first steps!
This is in no way a criticism of the women who do this. I see ladies in work who have more than one child and way more stressful jobs than me absolutely rock it. They’re freaking superwomen! I’m just not very career minded and honestly I don’t think my mental health could withstand the lifestyle. I’m pretty sure my head would explode!
I do still want to work after my maternity – something part time that doesn’t leave me with a slight underlying feeling of dread before I go in. I had a look at some positions in the area last night and, although I still have a good few months on maternity I have a goof feeling about getting something when the time’s right. The only thing is, I have no idea what I’d like to do and never have but it’ll fall into place.
Now all I need is a redundancy from my existing job to get the mortgage out of my hair! I didn’t take up the last offer but what’s done is done so there’s no point dwelling on it. These things come up on a regular basis so I’m putting my faith in the universe to provide. I also have everyone I know either crossing their fingers or praying, wherever their beliefs lie ….. 🙂
Peace and love
For me nothing breaks up the day like a large latte in a chilled coffee shop, a day enclosed within the 4 walls. I know I could be cleaning or doing something productive at home but honestly, I’m not the sort of person who gets pleasure from that! I know it’s not for everyone and according to all the money saving professionals I could be saving £££’s by constructing my own caffeinated beverage and during times of maternity pay those £££’s matter but at what cost? My sanity trumps cash any day of the week!
So every afternoon me and Arlo (and sometimes the boyfriend) get ourselves ready and make that trek up the town. All the cars parked on the pavement stopping me getting the pram past give me thoughts of having a stiffer drink (sorry, it’s a personal gripe!) but a baby in a bar that doesn’t serve food is generally frowned upon so coffee it is!
Over the course of (too?) many years I’ve refined my list of preferences. Here goes ….
– It must be independent. Although it’s not always possible to apply this to everything in life, I do it where I can and with sit down beverage drinking it’s mostly possible.
– The staff need to be nice. It’s always good to be treated to a friendly face and have the staff fing out your name and know your regular order. On a side note – ideally it’s good to eventually become Facebook friends with some of the staff and even better to become drinking buddies but I know that’s a rarity!
– The coffee has to be good. I’m a latte girl. Boring I know but hey, such is life. I throw in the odd americano but only if I’m feeling brave …… Everyone who works there needs to make a decent cup – coffee roulette ain’t my game!
– There’s gotta be some comfy seats. You might not always get one but it’s nice when you do.
– It needs that special something. Whether it’s mismatched furniture, cool pictures on the wall or innovative décor. These are my things but each to their own!
– And my newest addition to the wish list is baby and pram friendly!
I’m lucky enough to have 2 of these in my small town so if you’re ever in Lurgan, Northern Ireland, 54.4635N 6.33346W (though I can’t imagine why!) you should definitely check out Love Coffee and Icons Coffee House Tell them I sent ya!
Peace and love.
(Apologies in advance – I found an old poetry book and felt the need!)
That ‘great’ unwritten rule book
The one that dictates what we do
Who we are
What we wear
Depending on the decade of life
We are stumbling through
The one that stops us from embracing
And makes us think too much about
A future which may never come
The one that hinders so many people
From living their own life
And being the best they can be
All because they follow the rules
Of how they ‘should be’
Those rule followers
Who look down on those of us
Who have chosen to ignore the constraints
Who dress, do and feel
How we want
Not how society expects
Or thinks we should
The girl who drinks alone in the bar
The people who get tattoos with meaning
The people who embrace their true selves
And don’t blindly follow trends
Those of us who have managed
To live as the free thinking minority
Despite the pressure surrounding us.
I hate to admit it but it’s true. It does my head in (Northern Irish speak – annoys me) when my boyfriend spends 10 mins sharing pictures of our lunch so I bitch and complain but spend half of our cafe time mindlessly scrolling through facebook at things I don’t even care about. It pisses me off when I’m with friends and they’re paying more attention to the ‘online person’ than the actual ‘physical person’ sitting there in front of them and again, I do the same thing to other people. The local bar looses part of it’s charm when half the table are neck deep in their portable online world.
My idealistic self would love to go back to the days of the basic dumb phone (not the house phone – I never answer that cos well, I don’t know who’s at the other end and screw that!) The days when I contactable but not always ‘on call’ when you didn’t see emails until you got home and random beeps weren’t plaguing your entire day. Those damn things knock the mindful right outta ya! But honestly, I’m a bit far gone for that now plus I do love the always in your bag camera thing 🙂
So how can I sort this? Am I ready to give up my breakfast game of BubbleWitch or my Instagram snapshots? Nah 🙂 But maybe I could turn off the notifications, have designated phone checking time and make sure the person I’m speaking to is my main focus. It’s not much but it’s something I suppose. I’m not gonna lie, it’s gonna be tough (I sound so dramatic …..) but something’s gotta be done before I short circuit and explode to the tune of my ringtone ……
Peace and Love
So yep, I joined a gym! I’ve been meaning to for years but my excuses list was ridicules.
– I had no time – now I do (maternity leave)
– I can’t afford it – no travel costs for a bit
– Big muscle bound men would intimidate me – a ladies only gym opened 5 minutes down the road
So no more excuses!!
I used to go, maybe 17 years ago and, in my memory, I liked it but still, it’s scary. I’ve always considered exercise to be a pretty good anti-depressant and more time means more opportunity for irrational thinking so something had to be done. I need to add that I have a very supportive boyfriend and a very chilled baby – not everyone is this lucky. I count my first visit as a write off cos scared shitless but the 2nd, I think this might work.
Will I ever be a gym bunny? Nah, more like the scary bunny from Donnie Darko but hey, at least I’m trying 🙂 Baby steps!
Peace and Love
Well, I suppose I should introduce myself! I’m Kathy and, at the time of writing this I’m 40 years old. I’ve just had a baby boy, Arlo. I promise this won’t be a mum blog though I’m sure it’ll be mentioned.
So thats the outside stuff – what about the rest? That’s a tough one 🙂 A music loving 90’s grunge throwback would be a good place to start and I still have the 25 year old DM’S to prove it although I think they only have one more winter left in them – they don’t make em like they used to! I’m a reader, and (over?) thinker and a mental health warrior. Pretty sure all these things into my future posts plus whatever else pops into my head!
I don’t know if anyone will ever read this or any of my future posts but hopefully someone will. If not, at least they’ll clear a wee space in my head!
Peace and Love